Sunday, August 1, 2010

The Goat Chronicles.

Meet Max & Ruby.  They're Olivia's goats. 
A gift from her Uncle Bobby and Aunt Shelly.
She showed them in the 4H Fair two weeks
ago.  After the fair they came home with us.
Our lives may never be the same.

Yesterday they escaped twice.  Not once. 
TWICE!!  In this heat and humidity! 
Have mercy. I thought I would die.

The first prison break occurred because Olivia didn't
latch the gate right. The boys discovered them
on top of Mamaw and Papaw's roof.
They were apprehended pretty quickly, but not
before breaking a sweat.

We're unsure of how they escaped the second
time, but it went unnoticed for several hours.
When Olivia found out they were gone there
was weeping and wailing that could be heard
for miles.  So, the hunt was on.

We broke up into search parties and began
combing the countryside for the Prodigal Goats.
You would think it would be relatively easy to
spot two white goats in a lush green forest.  No.
Not even.

Josh was my hunting companion for most of the time
(after Kaden ran off and left me when he promised
he wouldn't.  Turkey).
He kept saying things like this "Mom you sure don't know how
to walk in the woods do you Mom? Did you ever play in
the woods when you were little Mom? and "Don't worry Mom
I know where we're at."
All this while running barefoot and shirtless through the woods.
He's part Indian.

We hunted and hunted with not one sign of those beasts.
"O for the love of Pete.  Where are they?"
Finally, after walking through countless spiderwebs
and getting stuck by briers too many times to count
I called it quits and returned home. 

Here's my reasoning.
1.  It was way too hot to be lookin for goats
     that don't want to be found.
2.  I don't like spiderwebs.
3.  They'll come home when they're thirsty/hungry.
4.  Dripping sweat was blurring my vision.

A few hours later.  Josh came in the back door 
yelling that he found the goats in the barn.

Are you kidding me?

Well at least they're home and safe now.  But there
are a few things you should know before you start
a goat hunt through the countryside.

1.  Take a long stick with you to knock down spiderwebs.
2.  If you wave the stick in a figure 8 pattern in front of you
     while you're walking, it will take down any unseen webs.
3.  Don't wear flip flops into the woods.  Unless you're almost 8
     and prefer to go barefoot. 
4.  Be sure to get an almost 8 year old hunting companion who knows
     the terrain.
5.  Check the barn first.
6.  Olivia also suggests some bug spray and water.  (Not a bad idea.)

Oh.  And guess where the Goat Goddess was while all her
minions were out hunting for her Beloved Goats.
Yep.  In the house.

Blog ya later, Missy


1 comment:

  1. my kids love the show 'max & ruby', by the way. i still remember the goat we had growing up - doodles was her name and we took turns trying to ride her. i DO NOT miss the humidity in indiana - i can almost feel it when you talk about it though! :)


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