The Sugar Bowl Scandal of 1979.

Or at least I think it was 1979.

I'm not really sure.  I just know I was
really little.  Like 4. 

It was summertime and we were getting
ready for a trip to the lake.
Our family had a boat and it was a popular
summertime escape. 

You can imagine the excitement that my
siblings and I felt as we waited to go.
Nothing was better than going to the lake.
Nothing. 

( Disclaimer:  I'm gonna improvise a little cause the
first parts of the story are a little sketchy.)


Mom was packing the coolers.  Dad was readying
the boat.  And us kids were running amuck.
(I'm pretty sure that part is true.)

When Dad suddenly comes out of the house
 mad as a hornet!  He lined the three of us up in the
garage and began to question us, as if he
were Joe Friday.

(The remainder of the story is exactly
as it happened.  Because I remember it
very well.)

"Which one of you spilled the sugar bowl
all over the kitchen floor?"

Silence.

"Did you?"  he said pointing a menacing
finger at my 8 year old brother.

"No Dad.  Wasn't me"

"You?"  he said to my twin.

"Uh uh."  She said shaking her head.
Not appearing at all intimidated by him
as he towered over us.

Then he looked at me and narrowed
his dark eyes.  I swallowed hard,
but decided to be brave because I knew in my
four year old heart that I was innocent.

Now, this is where I should tell you
that as a child, I was a wimp.  And a
cry baby.

"Then it was you."  He said  staring me down.

"No Daddy.  It wasn't me."  I said, all wide-eyed,
 shaking my little blond head back and forth.

"Now someone spilled the sugar bowl and I
want to know who!"  He said a bit too loudly.

Still no one spoke.  The silence was killing me.
The minutes ticked by.  I began fidgeting under
his Superman-like stare, all the while hoping
and praying that the guilty culprit would
speak up.

I should have known better.

Then he dropped the bomb as he paced back
and forth in front of us, "We aren't going anywhere
until someone admits to spilling the sugar bowl."

Again, he begins to single us out.
"Darin, did you do it?"

He shakes his head.

"Mandy?"

"Uh uh.  No."

Oh no I thought.  Our day at the lake is
in jeopardy.  If no one admits to it we
won't get to go.

"Missy?"

I thought quickly, wanting desperately to save
the day.

Then I had an idea. In my four year old wisdom I
decided I'd admit to the crime. Claim myself
guilty, but innocent as well, and save our trip to the lake.

(I'm pretty sure angels began to sing.)

"I did it Daddy, but I..."

And before I knew it he snatched me up, so
quick that my sandals were left behind,
and I got a spanking!!  For lying!!!!

I couldn't believe it.  I was heartbroken.
I didn't even get to tell him that I was only
admitting to it just so we could go to
the lake.

The injustice of it all.  I was after all,
saving the day for him too!

I remember sitting
in the back of the boat while the
rest of the preparations were made, and
the rest of the family arrived, including
my Aunt Kim, who is just a few years older.


She asked, "What's wrong Missy?" 
And before I could answer Mandy says,
"She got a whippin' cause she spilled the
sugar in the floor."  And Darin chimed in,
"and she lied about it."


Brats.


Fast forward about 30 years, when this memory
resurfaces at a family get together.  I retell all
of it, even the part of me being completely innocent,
and that I should have been named queen of the
day because I saved the trip, when I begin to hear
little snickers escaping from the lips of my brother.

"What's so funny?" I ask.

"I did it."

"What?!"

"Yeah I was climbing on the counter to get
a glass out of the cabinet when I hit it with
my foot and knocked it off."

"Then why didn't you admit it?  I got
spanked for something I didn't do!"

"Cause I wasn't stupid like you."


Then I killed him with my evil eye.



Blog ya later,
Missy