Sunday, August 1, 2010

The Goat Chronicles.



















Meet Max & Ruby.  They're Olivia's goats. 
A gift from her Uncle Bobby and Aunt Shelly.
She showed them in the 4H Fair two weeks
ago.  After the fair they came home with us.
Our lives may never be the same.

Yesterday they escaped twice.  Not once. 
TWICE!!  In this heat and humidity! 
Have mercy. I thought I would die.

The first prison break occurred because Olivia didn't
latch the gate right. The boys discovered them
on top of Mamaw and Papaw's roof.
They were apprehended pretty quickly, but not
before breaking a sweat.

We're unsure of how they escaped the second
time, but it went unnoticed for several hours.
When Olivia found out they were gone there
was weeping and wailing that could be heard
for miles.  So, the hunt was on.

We broke up into search parties and began
combing the countryside for the Prodigal Goats.
You would think it would be relatively easy to
spot two white goats in a lush green forest.  No.
Not even.

Josh was my hunting companion for most of the time
(after Kaden ran off and left me when he promised
he wouldn't.  Turkey).
He kept saying things like this "Mom you sure don't know how
to walk in the woods do you Mom? Did you ever play in
the woods when you were little Mom? and "Don't worry Mom
I know where we're at."
All this while running barefoot and shirtless through the woods.
He's part Indian.

We hunted and hunted with not one sign of those beasts.
"O for the love of Pete.  Where are they?"
Finally, after walking through countless spiderwebs
and getting stuck by briers too many times to count
I called it quits and returned home. 


Here's my reasoning.
1.  It was way too hot to be lookin for goats
     that don't want to be found.
2.  I don't like spiderwebs.
3.  They'll come home when they're thirsty/hungry.
4.  Dripping sweat was blurring my vision.

A few hours later.  Josh came in the back door 
yelling that he found the goats in the barn.
IN.  THE.  BARN. 

Are you kidding me?

Well at least they're home and safe now.  But there
are a few things you should know before you start
a goat hunt through the countryside.

1.  Take a long stick with you to knock down spiderwebs.
2.  If you wave the stick in a figure 8 pattern in front of you
     while you're walking, it will take down any unseen webs.
3.  Don't wear flip flops into the woods.  Unless you're almost 8
     and prefer to go barefoot. 
4.  Be sure to get an almost 8 year old hunting companion who knows
     the terrain.
5.  Check the barn first.
6.  Olivia also suggests some bug spray and water.  (Not a bad idea.)

Oh.  And guess where the Goat Goddess was while all her
minions were out hunting for her Beloved Goats.
Yep.  In the house.

Blog ya later, Missy

 

Saturday, July 24, 2010

17 years.

Today, Hubs and I have been married for 17 years.
We were sealed in the Chicago Temple of the
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
on Saturday, July 24, 1993.



We aren’t the same couple now.
Lifes experiences have changed us.
Our love has changed too.

I used to melt like butter when
he walked in the room, now
I enjoy the peace and comfort
his presence brings.

He’s the father of my children
and the love of my life.

17 years isn’t enough.
How about eternity?

Here’s 17 things I love about him.

17. His hazel eyes

16. How he makes me laugh,
      even when I want to be mad.

15. He never plans anything small.
      It’s always over the top.

14. He still dreams, and plans, and
      works towards goals.

13. He is my biggest fan.

12. He is up to date on world events
      (Code for politics).
11. He is a much better cook than me.

10. He will eat anything I put in front of him.

9. He’s always doing things just to make me happy.

8. His laugh.

7. He’s a jokester.

6. He’s always serving others.

5. He can’t sing. Or carry a tune. Neither can I.
    We laugh at each other a lot during church
    because of this.

4. He plays with the kids.

3. How he can calm and comfort my fears
    by just saying “Everything will be OK.”

2.  His faith.

1. He chose me to be his wife.

Missy

Monday, July 19, 2010

Ramblin, Ramblin, Ramblin.
















The 4H fair is this week
so that means it was a busy
weekend with a busy week
ahead.

I don't have pictures from the
fair ready yet, but I will soon.

For now you're just gonna have to
put up with my ramblins.

1.  It is so hot outside that my eyeballs
     melt when I go out. 

2.  There are only 4 weeks left before school starts, and
     even though I'm not home during the
     day with the kids, it makes me sad.

3.  Saturday, Hubs and I will have been
      married for 17 years.   

4.  I need to paint my toenails, but I'm too
     lazy. 

5.  If I don't go grocery shopping soon we
     may all starve to death.

6.  I need to stop by Kirstie's to look at
     her wedding pictures.

7.  Olivia asked me Saturday if Wendy's
     was around when I was a kid.  What?
      She's grounded for the rest of her life.

8.  I'm allergic to cats.  Really.  I swell
     up like a balloon.  Ever seen the movie
     Hitch?  Thats me.  Anyway, there are
     now 5 strays (Momma +kittens) living
     under my deck.  Not good.  Last week
     my left eyeball swelled.  (Not eyelid, eyeball.
     There is a difference).  They're gonna
      find a nice Amish home soon.

9.  I love my brother and sisters.  They'd
     do anything for me.  Except take those
      darned cats.  Haters.

10.  One of my new years resolutions
       was to run in a 5k this year.  I
        should start training for that soon.
        What?  It's not too late.

11.  There were a lot of  butterflies
        in my flowerbed yesterday.  I
       could hardly count them.

12.  Hubs said yesterday that because
       of our phone company being bought
       by another phone company they would
       have to update rural areas with DSL as part
       of the take over agreement.  Or something
       like that.  If this is true, you have
       no idea the joy it would bring to my life.
       That makes my heart sing.    

Happy Monday!

Blog ya later, Missy

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Country Roads Take Me Home...

Guess where I've been.  Nope.  Uh uh.
No, not there either.
Yep.  Tennessee!











It was a special occasion.
Kirstie and Chuck tied the knot,
so it was a family affair. 


































Which made for a lot of laughing,
arguing, and good times!





This is what happened while we were gone...

Hubs ate a rotten apple.  Gross.
  





















(I may never blindly bite into another one again.)


There was trouble at the border.














 Apparently big food chains frown upon picture
taking within the building, and the flash messes
with the ex army guys head (thats what he said).



This guy does not like to be splashed by kids.
















Some of those beautiful creeks in TN are polluted.










My kids were the poo poo pollution police. They took it upon
themselves to warn travelers of the dangers they
would face, should they decide to play in the creek.


Andy is a golf pro and everyone in Tennessee has heard of
him.  And most are big fans.












I'm the fan club president.  Email me for
any autograph requests.
(Seriously, he is quite good.)


The smoke alarm in our hotel room really worked.











(Should've known this little stink was in the middle of it)
I'm pretty sure the staff had a party when
we checked out.



This guy is grumpy when there is a lot of traffic,













 but he has a cute baby.




Olivia believes that cowboy hats are only available in TN.












She's never been to TX, OK, WY, NM, or ....
Poor kid. 



Tennessee policemen are nice to men who have a lead foot.















This bug drank his weight in Squirt.













I have no idea what they were talking about.
















I've been home two days and my house still looks like this














But my flowerbeds look like this












It's good to be home.

Blog ya later, Missy

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

"Mom's Home!"















And with that simple announcement
the chaos begins. Kids begin to
swarm, the dog starts yapping,
and the questions come faster than
I can answer.

“Can I go to Mamaw’s?”
“Can we go swimming?”
“What’s for dinner?”
“Miss, where’s my…?”

Sometimes it makes me feel overwhelmed.
Sometimes it makes me feel irritated.
And that makes me feel guilty.

That’s what it is to be a working mom.
Wanting/needing just five minutes
to clear my head from the stress of
the day. But I can’t always do
that because I'm the mom.
I've been gone all day. There’s
work to be done, dinner to be fixed, and
kids and a husband to be loved.

It’s impossible for me to do both jobs well.
Something has to give somewhere.
Usually, regrettably,  it’s something at home.
The laundry remains in a pile on the laundry room
floor, meals are late and prepared as quickly as possible,
and I often miss classroom parties and field trips.
I hate that. 

I’d stay at home in a minute, if I could.
That’s where my heart is. Then I
wouldn’t feel guilty. At least not about
all of that.

Blog ya later, Missy

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Trash Juice Got On My Toes - More Confessions of a Ghetto Queen

Disgusting I know. But that is how
it is here. Things like this happen to me
All. The. Time.

Let me explain. Last week Hubs
discovered some ground beef in the fridge
that needed to be tossed. So, he sits it
on the counter for the maid to take care of.
Only, she ignored it because I think she was
a little irritated that he didn’t just toss
it into the trash himself, since it was two feet away,
but I’m just guessing.

Later that day, a teenager happened upon
the scene. She asked the maid “Why is there hamburger
sitting on the counter?” The maid replied, “So,
we can enjoy the fresh aroma as it rots. Just
throw it away.” And she did.

Now, that is not the end of this confession.
True to ghetto style the ground beef remained
in the trash until it began to stink up the entire
kitchen house, because here in the backwoods, one
can only dump their trash on certain days of the
week, and guess what? This wasn’t one of those
days. In fact, it was the beginning of a 3 day stretch
before the trash place would be open again.

So, it sat there. Rotting, and stinking up my kitchen
house, until the maid had enough, and decided to load
it up, and take it to another trash place 20+ miles
away, to get rid of it.

And that’s when it happened. As I was lugging it
to the car, trash juice got on my toes. It was warm
and sticky, not to mention stinky. And that put
the maid in a Really. Good. Mood.

It’s not always pretty here in ghettoville.
I’m just sayin.

Anyone want to come and visit?
We got fresh ‘maters from the garden.

Blog ya later, Missy

Friday, July 2, 2010

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